Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Why: Clocks & Watches
Here's a good why to think a bout: Why do we call clocks clocks and watches watches? those names are kind of obscure. Well, this has been a "Y" by Joe
Sci-Fi Trojan war
I did a school project where i had to write the trojan war into a different genre. Here's my story! it's a little less than 4 pages.
The Trojan War
Abridged and rewritten into Sci-Fi by Joe Cavanaugh
It was rather odd that when the man entered the courtyard, the robotic sentries did not stop him. On other occasions, the guards would have teased him a little before letting him through. It was also odd that the laser drones didn’t fire their stun beams at him, which would set off an alarm. No, they simply let him through. Perhaps it was that he had a mech-guard disarmer but no, he didn’t own one. Was it his muscles? No, robots don’t fear brawn. Was it the small tag hanging from his neck? Definitely. It read, By order of the owner, this person is authorized to enter this sector of the planet: Lalinor without trouble from guards. Issued by: King Zinter Salk. This man was a weapon salesman, and Zinter and his daughters (who were princesses) wished to buy from him. He also came for another reason, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
“Now, lets see your wares,” said Zinter, “We’re burning daylight”
“Calm down, Zinter, said the salesman.
Tally, one of the princesses, took a set of sword disks from the wares. The arachnid-like apparatuses stuck their 8 needle-sharp legs into each of the palms of her hands, the anesthesia and antiseptic kicking in so quickly, she didn’t feel a thing. She put her hands together and then quickly pulled them apart, causing a sword made of purple energy to form in-between them. She grabbed it as it floated in the air, and then started to test it out by swinging it at imaginary enemies.
“She’s pretty good,” said the salesman.
“She practices every day,” replied Zinter “She’s my niece”.
“So, do you know who she is?” the salesman asked.
“I just said, she’s my niece and the girls’ cousin,” said Zinter.
“No, I mean who he really is.”
“He?”
The salesman pulled out a small object that looked like a small remote with only two buttons, a red button and a green button. Zinter knew what the salesman was doing. The remote deactivated any nearby holographic disguises. Zinter watched as his “niece” flickered away to reveal a young man.
“Hello, Achilles.” greeted the salesman.
“Achilles?!?!” screamed the girls.
“Greetings, Ulysses,” said the newly exposed Achilles. “What brings you here?”
“First answer my question,” said Ulysses “WHAT are you wearing?”
“My mother forced me to hide here because some oracle claims that the fates would kill me if I didn’t hide.” said Achilles in a sarcastic tone.
“You can hide here until your mother comes to retrieve you,” said Ulysses, “I just wanted to say that there’s a war going on.”
“A WAR?! WHOOO! WHY ARE WE STANDING AROUND?! LET’S GO!!”
Achilles uttered a short goodbye to his cousins, and after a few minutes of walking, they reached Ulysses’ space ship, the R.S. Twilight
“So, Ulysses, how did this war start?” Achilles asked.
“Here’s the story” replied Ulysses.
Achilles’ mother was a beautiful naiad who rose from the sea. In other words, a hot fish-lady. Her name was Thetis. She married Peleus, a powerful warrior. They were wed on mount Olympus. During the height of the celebrations, someone used an invisibility ray on themselves and placed on the table a set of hoversparks, which fly around your home, casting a pleasant glow. Attached to the jar was a note that read “To the most beautiful”. Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite wanted to be bratty, so they immediately started fighting over it, which affected our dimension. Now the planet Troy is in a war with planet Greece.
“Which brings us to now, with us careening through space at approximately 1,000 miles per second.” said Ulysses.
“Look! There’s Troy!” exclaimed Achilles, “That right there is the space station we’re going to be staying in!” Suddenly the image flickered away as Ulysses blew into what looked like a tube protruding from a chrome sphere.
“Sorry, but you have to admit, that was a pretty good joke,” said Ulysses.
“Ok, but can you tell me what happened next?” asked Achilles.
“Sure”
Since the note said “To the most beautiful”, Zeus set off to find a boy with perfect judgment of beauty. He came back with a boy named Paris. His job was to tell which woman was most beautiful. When he chose Aphrodite over Hera and Athena, this caused even more fights.
“Well, we’re going to be landing in a few seconds, so get ready” said Ulysses.
“This isn’t a trick, is it?” asked a suspicious Achilles.
“No, don’t worry.” said Ulysses.
When they landed, Achilles found that he hated his captain, whose name was Agamemnon. Now, this next part is really long, since it lasts a year, so to keep you from getting bored out of your mind, I’m going to skip the toast and jelly the cat (in other words, get right to the point)
1. Greeks have a few fights against the Trojans until a treaty is made.
2. Gods want to see who wins, so they temp someone to break the treaty.
3. Treaty is broken and Greece and Troy fight more
4. Lots of fights until Greece gets fed up and decides to see an oracle.
Now that I’m done summarizing, here’s the awesome part. The oracle said:
Could is should,
Should is would,
Would is wood, of course,
What began with an apple must end with a horse.
Before I tell you what happens next, I want to say how Achilles dies. Someone shoots him in his tendon.
The Greeks had to decode this for a while until they finally realized that it meant they had to build a wooden horse. They set the horse outside the gates of Troy at night and made it look like they had left. When the Trojans found it, their response was something like this: Ooooo… Horsy… well, actually, I’m joking. They most likely went something like this: LOOK! A WOODEN HORSE! WE SHALL SACRAFICE IT TO POSIDEN, THE HORSE GOD! What they didn’t know was that Greek warriors were hiding in the horse. Once nightfall came, the Greeks quietly slipped out of the horse and then massacred the city. THE GREEKS WIN! HURRAY FOR GREECE!
The End
well, that's it! Ps i can make this symbol: Æ cool although i have no idea what it means.
The Trojan War
Abridged and rewritten into Sci-Fi by Joe Cavanaugh
It was rather odd that when the man entered the courtyard, the robotic sentries did not stop him. On other occasions, the guards would have teased him a little before letting him through. It was also odd that the laser drones didn’t fire their stun beams at him, which would set off an alarm. No, they simply let him through. Perhaps it was that he had a mech-guard disarmer but no, he didn’t own one. Was it his muscles? No, robots don’t fear brawn. Was it the small tag hanging from his neck? Definitely. It read, By order of the owner, this person is authorized to enter this sector of the planet: Lalinor without trouble from guards. Issued by: King Zinter Salk. This man was a weapon salesman, and Zinter and his daughters (who were princesses) wished to buy from him. He also came for another reason, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
“Now, lets see your wares,” said Zinter, “We’re burning daylight”
“Calm down, Zinter, said the salesman.
Tally, one of the princesses, took a set of sword disks from the wares. The arachnid-like apparatuses stuck their 8 needle-sharp legs into each of the palms of her hands, the anesthesia and antiseptic kicking in so quickly, she didn’t feel a thing. She put her hands together and then quickly pulled them apart, causing a sword made of purple energy to form in-between them. She grabbed it as it floated in the air, and then started to test it out by swinging it at imaginary enemies.
“She’s pretty good,” said the salesman.
“She practices every day,” replied Zinter “She’s my niece”.
“So, do you know who she is?” the salesman asked.
“I just said, she’s my niece and the girls’ cousin,” said Zinter.
“No, I mean who he really is.”
“He?”
The salesman pulled out a small object that looked like a small remote with only two buttons, a red button and a green button. Zinter knew what the salesman was doing. The remote deactivated any nearby holographic disguises. Zinter watched as his “niece” flickered away to reveal a young man.
“Hello, Achilles.” greeted the salesman.
“Achilles?!?!” screamed the girls.
“Greetings, Ulysses,” said the newly exposed Achilles. “What brings you here?”
“First answer my question,” said Ulysses “WHAT are you wearing?”
“My mother forced me to hide here because some oracle claims that the fates would kill me if I didn’t hide.” said Achilles in a sarcastic tone.
“You can hide here until your mother comes to retrieve you,” said Ulysses, “I just wanted to say that there’s a war going on.”
“A WAR?! WHOOO! WHY ARE WE STANDING AROUND?! LET’S GO!!”
Achilles uttered a short goodbye to his cousins, and after a few minutes of walking, they reached Ulysses’ space ship, the R.S. Twilight
“So, Ulysses, how did this war start?” Achilles asked.
“Here’s the story” replied Ulysses.
Achilles’ mother was a beautiful naiad who rose from the sea. In other words, a hot fish-lady. Her name was Thetis. She married Peleus, a powerful warrior. They were wed on mount Olympus. During the height of the celebrations, someone used an invisibility ray on themselves and placed on the table a set of hoversparks, which fly around your home, casting a pleasant glow. Attached to the jar was a note that read “To the most beautiful”. Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite wanted to be bratty, so they immediately started fighting over it, which affected our dimension. Now the planet Troy is in a war with planet Greece.
“Which brings us to now, with us careening through space at approximately 1,000 miles per second.” said Ulysses.
“Look! There’s Troy!” exclaimed Achilles, “That right there is the space station we’re going to be staying in!” Suddenly the image flickered away as Ulysses blew into what looked like a tube protruding from a chrome sphere.
“Sorry, but you have to admit, that was a pretty good joke,” said Ulysses.
“Ok, but can you tell me what happened next?” asked Achilles.
“Sure”
Since the note said “To the most beautiful”, Zeus set off to find a boy with perfect judgment of beauty. He came back with a boy named Paris. His job was to tell which woman was most beautiful. When he chose Aphrodite over Hera and Athena, this caused even more fights.
“Well, we’re going to be landing in a few seconds, so get ready” said Ulysses.
“This isn’t a trick, is it?” asked a suspicious Achilles.
“No, don’t worry.” said Ulysses.
When they landed, Achilles found that he hated his captain, whose name was Agamemnon. Now, this next part is really long, since it lasts a year, so to keep you from getting bored out of your mind, I’m going to skip the toast and jelly the cat (in other words, get right to the point)
1. Greeks have a few fights against the Trojans until a treaty is made.
2. Gods want to see who wins, so they temp someone to break the treaty.
3. Treaty is broken and Greece and Troy fight more
4. Lots of fights until Greece gets fed up and decides to see an oracle.
Now that I’m done summarizing, here’s the awesome part. The oracle said:
Could is should,
Should is would,
Would is wood, of course,
What began with an apple must end with a horse.
Before I tell you what happens next, I want to say how Achilles dies. Someone shoots him in his tendon.
The Greeks had to decode this for a while until they finally realized that it meant they had to build a wooden horse. They set the horse outside the gates of Troy at night and made it look like they had left. When the Trojans found it, their response was something like this: Ooooo… Horsy… well, actually, I’m joking. They most likely went something like this: LOOK! A WOODEN HORSE! WE SHALL SACRAFICE IT TO POSIDEN, THE HORSE GOD! What they didn’t know was that Greek warriors were hiding in the horse. Once nightfall came, the Greeks quietly slipped out of the horse and then massacred the city. THE GREEKS WIN! HURRAY FOR GREECE!
The End
well, that's it! Ps i can make this symbol: Æ cool although i have no idea what it means.
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Crow
A poem by me that covers Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" with inspiration from "Bunnicula Meets Edgar Allen Crow" by James Howe. it's not done yet.
Once upon a friday dreary,
while i read, in some fury,
when it turned out that a main character was no more.
while i drifted, nearly napping
suddenly, there came a tapping
as if one was knocking, knocking at my front door
"Just a person" thats what i mumbled "knocking on my front door"
just that, nothing more
i'm not done with it, but i will be writing more.
Once upon a friday dreary,
while i read, in some fury,
when it turned out that a main character was no more.
while i drifted, nearly napping
suddenly, there came a tapping
as if one was knocking, knocking at my front door
"Just a person" thats what i mumbled "knocking on my front door"
just that, nothing more
i'm not done with it, but i will be writing more.
Poor Spottedleaf...
I never cry when reading books. Never. Well, actually, almost never. When i read Warriors, i cry at the sad parts. Dont call me a wimp, because if you had emotions, you would cry too. Well, thats that! Just a weird little fact.
Uhh...Odd?: Arcticle from Wikihow
While browsing wikihow, i found this odd and random arcticle. whoever wrote this thing had one WEIRD mind! Special thank to wikihow and orriginal writer!
Sometimes you just want to step back and stop dealing with issues like dating, romance, school, after school jobs, and social pressure. This article will show you how to get back your early childhood and act like a baby again without freaking everyone out!
Steps
There isn't exactly a step by step guide for this kind of thing, but there are a few basic steps you can begin with. You want to take this transformation back to babyhood slowly, so you don't alarm people around you.
First of all, you want to start doing babyish things that are not necessarily just for babies. Nap time is a great way to start. Try having an hour long nap in the late morning/early afternoon. Also: Pyjamas. You will definitely want a cute pair of pj's, with a childish character on them.
Pacifier. This one might freak people out so it is best if you use it while alone. You can purchase one at the dollar store or pharmacy. Also invest in a child's sippy cup with a cute character on it. If you get one from the disney store, people might even think it's cool!
Invest in some non solid foods and work them into your everyday lunch. Things like applesauce, yogurt, banana slices, cheerios, and bite sized finger foods are perfect baby fare.
These steps might freak people out so try only to practice them when you are alone. If you are into it, invest in some diapers. You can make cloth ones for the feel but don't actually use them (gross). If you want the real thing, go to the drugstore and buy pullups in the big kids sizes. If the cashier makes a funny face, just mention how the kid you are babysitting ran out, and wow they are expensive!
Don't forget things like blankies, soft toys, and kiddie tv to make you feel more safe and childlike. Watch baby shows when you can.
Tips
Babies sleep ALOT. They also love bright colours. When dressing, try to include soft fabrics and pastel colours. Wear pink if you are a girl, blue if you are a boy. Bundle up when you go out, wear blankies inside when you are cold.
Buy baby wipes to use when you need to take makeup or dirt off. The scent will leave u baby fresh. Buy some cute baby dishes too, with little plastic compartments to keep your food seperate. So cute!
Babies don't talk. Try to keep quiet, but not so much that you arouse suspicion.
Warnings
Remember that even though we all want to go back in time occasionally, these suggestions are only for fun and comfort, not for actually becoming a baby again.
Okaaaaayyyy..... that was odd. also, you should look forward to me getting a good playlist again. (imeem replaced most of my songs with 30 second versions)
Sometimes you just want to step back and stop dealing with issues like dating, romance, school, after school jobs, and social pressure. This article will show you how to get back your early childhood and act like a baby again without freaking everyone out!
Steps
There isn't exactly a step by step guide for this kind of thing, but there are a few basic steps you can begin with. You want to take this transformation back to babyhood slowly, so you don't alarm people around you.
First of all, you want to start doing babyish things that are not necessarily just for babies. Nap time is a great way to start. Try having an hour long nap in the late morning/early afternoon. Also: Pyjamas. You will definitely want a cute pair of pj's, with a childish character on them.
Pacifier. This one might freak people out so it is best if you use it while alone. You can purchase one at the dollar store or pharmacy. Also invest in a child's sippy cup with a cute character on it. If you get one from the disney store, people might even think it's cool!
Invest in some non solid foods and work them into your everyday lunch. Things like applesauce, yogurt, banana slices, cheerios, and bite sized finger foods are perfect baby fare.
These steps might freak people out so try only to practice them when you are alone. If you are into it, invest in some diapers. You can make cloth ones for the feel but don't actually use them (gross). If you want the real thing, go to the drugstore and buy pullups in the big kids sizes. If the cashier makes a funny face, just mention how the kid you are babysitting ran out, and wow they are expensive!
Don't forget things like blankies, soft toys, and kiddie tv to make you feel more safe and childlike. Watch baby shows when you can.
Tips
Babies sleep ALOT. They also love bright colours. When dressing, try to include soft fabrics and pastel colours. Wear pink if you are a girl, blue if you are a boy. Bundle up when you go out, wear blankies inside when you are cold.
Buy baby wipes to use when you need to take makeup or dirt off. The scent will leave u baby fresh. Buy some cute baby dishes too, with little plastic compartments to keep your food seperate. So cute!
Babies don't talk. Try to keep quiet, but not so much that you arouse suspicion.
Warnings
Remember that even though we all want to go back in time occasionally, these suggestions are only for fun and comfort, not for actually becoming a baby again.
Okaaaaayyyy..... that was odd. also, you should look forward to me getting a good playlist again. (imeem replaced most of my songs with 30 second versions)
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Sorry and TM
I'm sorry i havn't been posting recently, i forgot my password. Anyays... Have TM you TM noticed TM how TM most TM places TM trademark TM every TM word TM on TM their TM products TM? It TM really TM gets TM on TM my TM nerves TM. Dont TM you TM hate TM that TM? Anoying TM. But TM hey, TM at TM least TM we TM get TM to TM say TM those TM words TM! This article has been copyrighted by joe in 2009, and if you have a problem with that, i suggest you shut your piehole and put TM after every word in your next post. =-)
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