Sci-Fi Trojan war

I did a school project where i had to write the trojan war into a different genre. Here's my story! it's a little less than 4 pages.

The Trojan War
Abridged and rewritten into Sci-Fi by Joe Cavanaugh

It was rather odd that when the man entered the courtyard, the robotic sentries did not stop him. On other occasions, the guards would have teased him a little before letting him through. It was also odd that the laser drones didn’t fire their stun beams at him, which would set off an alarm. No, they simply let him through. Perhaps it was that he had a mech-guard disarmer but no, he didn’t own one. Was it his muscles? No, robots don’t fear brawn. Was it the small tag hanging from his neck? Definitely. It read, By order of the owner, this person is authorized to enter this sector of the planet: Lalinor without trouble from guards. Issued by: King Zinter Salk. This man was a weapon salesman, and Zinter and his daughters (who were princesses) wished to buy from him. He also came for another reason, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

“Now, lets see your wares,” said Zinter, “We’re burning daylight”
“Calm down, Zinter, said the salesman.
Tally, one of the princesses, took a set of sword disks from the wares. The arachnid-like apparatuses stuck their 8 needle-sharp legs into each of the palms of her hands, the anesthesia and antiseptic kicking in so quickly, she didn’t feel a thing. She put her hands together and then quickly pulled them apart, causing a sword made of purple energy to form in-between them. She grabbed it as it floated in the air, and then started to test it out by swinging it at imaginary enemies.
“She’s pretty good,” said the salesman.
“She practices every day,” replied Zinter “She’s my niece”.
“So, do you know who she is?” the salesman asked.
“I just said, she’s my niece and the girls’ cousin,” said Zinter.
“No, I mean who he really is.”
“He?”

The salesman pulled out a small object that looked like a small remote with only two buttons, a red button and a green button. Zinter knew what the salesman was doing. The remote deactivated any nearby holographic disguises. Zinter watched as his “niece” flickered away to reveal a young man.
“Hello, Achilles.” greeted the salesman.
“Achilles?!?!” screamed the girls.
“Greetings, Ulysses,” said the newly exposed Achilles. “What brings you here?”
“First answer my question,” said Ulysses “WHAT are you wearing?”
“My mother forced me to hide here because some oracle claims that the fates would kill me if I didn’t hide.” said Achilles in a sarcastic tone.
“You can hide here until your mother comes to retrieve you,” said Ulysses, “I just wanted to say that there’s a war going on.”
“A WAR?! WHOOO! WHY ARE WE STANDING AROUND?! LET’S GO!!”
Achilles uttered a short goodbye to his cousins, and after a few minutes of walking, they reached Ulysses’ space ship, the R.S. Twilight
“So, Ulysses, how did this war start?” Achilles asked.
“Here’s the story” replied Ulysses.

Achilles’ mother was a beautiful naiad who rose from the sea. In other words, a hot fish-lady. Her name was Thetis. She married Peleus, a powerful warrior. They were wed on mount Olympus. During the height of the celebrations, someone used an invisibility ray on themselves and placed on the table a set of hoversparks, which fly around your home, casting a pleasant glow. Attached to the jar was a note that read “To the most beautiful”. Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite wanted to be bratty, so they immediately started fighting over it, which affected our dimension. Now the planet Troy is in a war with planet Greece.

“Which brings us to now, with us careening through space at approximately 1,000 miles per second.” said Ulysses.
“Look! There’s Troy!” exclaimed Achilles, “That right there is the space station we’re going to be staying in!” Suddenly the image flickered away as Ulysses blew into what looked like a tube protruding from a chrome sphere.
“Sorry, but you have to admit, that was a pretty good joke,” said Ulysses.
“Ok, but can you tell me what happened next?” asked Achilles.
“Sure”

Since the note said “To the most beautiful”, Zeus set off to find a boy with perfect judgment of beauty. He came back with a boy named Paris. His job was to tell which woman was most beautiful. When he chose Aphrodite over Hera and Athena, this caused even more fights.

“Well, we’re going to be landing in a few seconds, so get ready” said Ulysses.
“This isn’t a trick, is it?” asked a suspicious Achilles.
“No, don’t worry.” said Ulysses.

When they landed, Achilles found that he hated his captain, whose name was Agamemnon. Now, this next part is really long, since it lasts a year, so to keep you from getting bored out of your mind, I’m going to skip the toast and jelly the cat (in other words, get right to the point)
1. Greeks have a few fights against the Trojans until a treaty is made.
2. Gods want to see who wins, so they temp someone to break the treaty.
3. Treaty is broken and Greece and Troy fight more
4. Lots of fights until Greece gets fed up and decides to see an oracle.

Now that I’m done summarizing, here’s the awesome part. The oracle said:
Could is should,
Should is would,
Would is wood, of course,
What began with an apple must end with a horse.

Before I tell you what happens next, I want to say how Achilles dies. Someone shoots him in his tendon.

The Greeks had to decode this for a while until they finally realized that it meant they had to build a wooden horse. They set the horse outside the gates of Troy at night and made it look like they had left. When the Trojans found it, their response was something like this: Ooooo… Horsy… well, actually, I’m joking. They most likely went something like this: LOOK! A WOODEN HORSE! WE SHALL SACRAFICE IT TO POSIDEN, THE HORSE GOD! What they didn’t know was that Greek warriors were hiding in the horse. Once nightfall came, the Greeks quietly slipped out of the horse and then massacred the city. THE GREEKS WIN! HURRAY FOR GREECE!


The End

well, that's it! Ps i can make this symbol: Æ cool although i have no idea what it means.